No, I am not kidding. But since you are reading this, I made it home, safe. Thanks for asking.
You must be wondering "what the hell happened"? (Again, thanks so much for your concern. Truly.)
OK, LET ME JUST SAY IT STRAIGHT UP: I HAVE A CONDITION.
IT IS CALLED "OBSESSIVE FOOD LABEL AND PACKAGING READING"
AND IT IS SO SERIOUS, THAT THE MAIN STREAM MEDICINE IS SCARED TO RECOGNIZE IT
(BUT I AM SURE THEY ALREADY HAVE A DRUG OR TWO FOR THAT IN THE MAKING...).
So let me tell you, life with such impediment is not an easy one...
- Every time I go grocery shopping I catch myself comparing nutritional info and ingredients on boxes of stuff. And then on another box... and another.... I am talking two hours later, people, and the store staff ready to call security (or 911, in no particular order).
- Every time I see "gluten free", "ancient grains", "all natural" or "non GMO" it always makes me wonder, A) how many "healthy" labels can you fit on one package (apparently a lot, including "not tested on children") and B) what aren't they telling me since the expiry date of their product is longer than mine (even with my stubbornness).
- Not seeing nutritional data makes me run away (which is probably the only time I am running. Ok... maybe except when I play tennis.... or when I realize the smell in the kitchen is rather related to the smoke coming from the stove... back to the point ->) unless it clearly is a piece of fruit or vegetable for which there are not many food labels... yet. Thank god for at least that or I would never leave any grocery store!!
SO HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY...
I was happily shopping my perimeter of the store (you know, the unprocessed stuff, FYI) trying hard to leave in under an hour when I realized I needed something from the "natural foods" isle. STAT! (That's medical for "now". I just saved you asking Dr. Google. You're welcome) 😉
So I am making my way over to the above mentioned isle, when something catches my attention. Front making an "Organic Promise" and the back reads this:
If you don't know why this made me laugh, read this link. (And yes, I actually spend my days researching foods. You'll thank me later!)
I started giggling as soon as I read the first paragraph thinking: "So, you know you are full of crap, but in order to remain on the shelves of at least the regular grocers in the upscale section a.k.a the natural foods isle, you need to pull stunts like that..."
So I put the box gently away, (in case there was a rep of an all-mighty [Big-Cereal-Company-Name-Here] in the vicinity ) and made my way over to the other side of that isle spotting new additions to the brands I actually like.
AND tHERE WAS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I HAVE SEEN RECENTLY...
Another brand that despite its good reputation tries too hard here....
So, ok... What do we have here?
Chia - great! Quinoa - despite our rocky relationship, pretty good too. Amaranth - cool!
But WHY THE HECK do you need to grind them in a volcanic stone? And better yet, put that in capitals on your package? Probably the only answer to this is to catch consumer's attention (Good job, [Not-So-Big-Tacos-Brand-Name-Here]. You've got mine.) as I see no real health benefits of volcanic stone grinding myself. Unless used for stress relief, maybe?
Having said that, if there are any, please enlighten me. Would love to learn, as even the brand's website was not much of a help here.
BUT THIS IS THE PART WHEN I HONESTLY THOUGHT THEY WOULD NEED TO SCRAPE ME OFF THE FLOOR...
GIVE ME INGREDIENTS OF A TOMATO!
IN 3... 2... 1... GO!
In case you didn't know... (and I have to admit, I did not know it either, even after spending literally over half of my life in the kitchen and slapping a diploma over it), some say, your humble tomato consists of the following ingredients...
Ok, if at this point you fell of you chair (or whatever you are resting on, which is exactly what you should be doing reading this post!) I do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused.
See how you've been fooled to think that tomato is a simple veggie (a fruit, technically, my OCD kicking in again...)!
SO IN SUMMARY...
I am not trying to be mean here, trust me. Just want you to be aware that even in the "natural" foods part of the store brands primarily "handcraft" your shopping decisions by what they put on their packaging, not just by the taste of your favourite foods. They try to grab your attention for that split of a second they have when you are passing by and a storm of labels on the package with different apparent benefits or health claims seem to be the attraction factor for those who are sensitive to such information.
Don't you find yourself thinking the more labels they put on it, the better it appears to be for you?
And don't get me wrong! I love labels (remember, I do have a condition), but sometimes you just have to realize that most of those health claims don't really matter. Or maybe matter for some, but are completely irrelevant in your case.